माय Teachers

I am always thinking about my teachers...how grateful I am for them. I have more than I have ever had...despite dozens of years in school. Instructors aren't the same as teachers, and, well, that's what a lot of school was for me: Instruction. I have actually found that I NEED someone to help guide me on this path of right-living...maybe it's not the need itself, but the humility to recognize the need that has changed me. That's it. Humility. Finally realizing that I don't know everything...or anything, really. And that beautiful revelation isn't meant to be self-deprecating. It is more empowering than I ever imagined.

My kids...well...they're a spazzy bunch. And sassy...like their mom. They throw fits...like their mom (yep. I do.) They yell (yep.) They fight (actually, no...that I never did.) They over-dramatize EVERYTHING...(who me? no...never.) They are the greatest teachers...showing me the way. The RIGHT way. Their sweet innocence (despite the fallibilities of childhood)teaches me what I never knew, or perhaps, forgot. I've often said, "I thought I was a good person...'til I had kids." It's not really meant to be funny (though it is)...it's true for me. My kids have helped me to begin to let go of my "ego mind." Can't help it. Before I make ANY sort of plans, I have to consider what the repercussions will be for my kids. Takes the ego out of EVERYTHING.

On the other end is my yoga teachers. Y'all have heard me credit them...or mention them. I've had many (but not as many as some) and I credit them all for my place in the Universe right now. I've learned that the students sometimes (most of the time) eventually outgrow the teachers. It is the teachers responsibility to inform the student. After all, they are the teacher and sometimes students are so devoted so in love so dedicated...they can't see the forest through the trees. In my experience, it's a period of years...perhaps decades...before this can happen. It can be as painful as a divorce...but not as, typically, negative. The intention is to encourage the student to pursue another guide on this phase of the path...not to discredit or dis-empower the previous teacher. In more than one way, it is a form of love. To keep a student longer than necessary is ego mind. Believing that the teacher will ALWAYS supercede the student...rarely the case. Sometime the student may transcend the teacher. *GASP* No. Really. My teachers are ALL brilliant. More brilliant than I will EVER be. The credit is due their diligence and insurmountable tolerance in leading me. But, as the student grows...perhaps it's more about the WAY the student needs to be taught than the teachings themselves. It's all about presentation, people. I'm guilty of this scenario: Know the teacher well. Used to the method. Something new...but not in the presentation. *yawn*...nothing gets retained...because I've tuned out. Key point: It's NOT the teacher...it's ME. And that fact alone contributes to the necessity of change. Never would I blame the giver...but, me as the receiver.

Change is what life consists of. Really, what makes life interesting. For me, anyway. And, 12 years ago NO ONE could have convinced me that I'd be a mother...much less a mother to 4 kids. That would have been my ego. "Sorry...PhD is on the menu...not family."

Well, here I am. Thankful. In love. Completely blissed-out in the way my life has, thus far, unfolded. I can't WAIT for the next 40 years!