Kim Buck and Main Street Yoga

Taking the Fall

2011-12-01T20:42:00.000-08:00

Why work so hard? No really. What is there ultimately to attain by aspiring to betterment? My own teachers...who are BRILLIANT and RIGHT...are also bent (be it ever so slightly...) on becoming acute and aware through (...and I might be wrong on this...) deprivation. Yep. I think I think too much. Too hard. Worry too much. Too hard. Care too much. Too hard. But...apparently, I'm supposed too. It's the only way to grow. Ok. Maybe. But. What if it isn't completely...or remotely...necessary to feel so much? So hard. What if...and this might be a stretch (and it might even get me excommunicated...)...it's fine...okay...even WORTHY...to simply accept it all. And sundry. I am. What I am. And, by Golly...so are you. Honestly, sometimes I get downright agitated by over-arching assumptions that in order to deserve enlightenment or bliss...one must learn how to suffer. Quietly. Well. I have never likened myself to a quiet, non-sufferer...nor have I EVER likened myself to someone needing to be enlightened. I am here to serve. Period. And. Maybe I starve myself. Maybe I drink beer on a regular basis. I married a meat cutter...so, yep...not a vegetarian...I don't recycle...(much...)...by all standards, I am karmacally doomed. Ok. But. Someone out there can relate. And...well...they don't have to admit it. Cuz I already did. ROCK ON!

Pearl

2011-09-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

“Pain in the ass”. Something I say (at least sub-vocally) pretty frequently. Probably too much. Probably at the “wrong” time...and undoubtedly in bad context. So. This is for you, in case you happen to hear that phrase come out of my mouth. Ever.

The other day, a student was a bit incorrigible...not just a little whiney and maybe too loud...but still a very sweet, loving and genuinely GREAT person that I REALLY love...(I’m not very committal with my wording...)...and I let it slip. Yep. Out loud. “Guh. What a pain in the ass...” The realization that surely SOMEONE heard me say it (despite Santana in the background...) kept me up ALL NIGHT. The monkey in my brain would not let it go, “Oh. You really did it this time, Kim. How the HELL are you gonna rectify that ginourmous boo boo? Every one of the students in that class is gonna think you’re a hypocrite...in fact...everything you teach is BULLSHIT in their interpretation cuz you just called one of their peers a ‘pain in the ass’.” Yep. So this is my strategy: I sorted this all out in the wee hours. “Pain in the ass” is analogous (that’s right) with the “sand in the oyster”.

How can it not be? The most unforgettable lessons in my life have always been taught by the people who annoy me the most. It’s true. The most annoying people have taught me the most. Hrm. Not to indicate that the people I love and hold most dear in my life haven’t taught me loads...it also doesn’t mean that all the people I love and hold the most dear are not annoying. Because, the truth is I pretty much love everyone. Yep. And, since I found my practice (though, admittedly I don’t always function from that place of integrity..ie. calling my sweet student a pain in the ass...) I have realized more readily my crazy sparkle-shine attitude about people. What I’ve begun to understand is it’s OK to be full of love and light and express it everywhere and to everyone (in probably IMMENSELY annoying ways...) but it’s ALSO, at least, human (and therefore Divine) to swear like a trucker (for example. That’s not an admission...)

So. Let me just say to you now, should you be one of the annoying ones in my life...You are my GREATEST teachers. Know that I love you immensely. And...please don’t stop being annoying...without the grit, there is no Pearl.

Great LOVE (and near as much gratitude...) -Kim

Proud Mary...Tina Turner Style

2011-08-12T19:13:00.001-07:00

Keeping it real. I don’t meditate...or, rather, certainly not like I am “supposed” to. Formal meditation remains as elusive to my practice as the fountain of youth...or the Philosophers Stone. Friends of mine have, of late, told me that I “should” meditate. For reasons of self-development. For a way to release this bridled love that I carry...that we ALL carry...inherently. And, perhaps, more specifically...to help me process the dramas of raising a family with diverse issues. Yep. Well. I have a great intention to begin a formal meditation practice. Soon. Really. When are they adding that 25th hour to the day? I hear it’s soon...Congress is working on it.

I’ve struggled with my lack of meditation...FORMAL meditation...for awhile now. So. I’ll sit. In my room. On the floor (not in Lotus). With my back supported. And all the props I need to sit still comfortably for 10 minutes. Just ten. Not the 15 minute marathon. Just the 10K (...which is really just 6.2 minutes...) I breathe. In. Out. No really. I do. Breathing is, well, part of meditation...right? Follow the breath. In. Out. Repeat.

[*CRASH*]

In. Out. Repeat. (change legs...)

”MOM!!!”

In. Out. Repeat. (heart rate slightly increases...)

[*SCREAMING*]

In. Out. (ok. respirations rapid and pulse following in good form...)

“MOM!!! He won’t stop HITTING ME!!” He, “SHE started it! Broke my favorite pottery motorcycle!” She, “MOM! He called ME a DUMBO!” He, “DID NOT!”

[*more SCREAMING. CRYING. Pounding of doors.*]

In. Sigh.

Eyes open. 3.1 minutes. A new record.

Rock ON!

Slef-less love

2011-07-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

Three years of hard work culminates in this highly-regarded (at least to me) trademark: "Anusara-Inspired" (tm) yoga teacher. Meanwhile...life continues on in the context of home-maker, wife, mother...strangely I am still fascinated by (or perhaps still clinging to) my life pre-accomplishments. Right. No kidding. As I read my teachers' blog, my inner-voice pipes in "Oh Kim! Get with it! Now you're Inspired...deepen your practice! Meditate more! Journal more! Read more philosophy! Chant more ! GET INTO LOTUS!" Then, some great Pop song comes on the radio and I'm transported back to my life as a hot, 28 year old holding the world (at least as I perceive it) in the palm of my age-spot-less hand (as a 28 year old). So it is,...in my poor head...not little, by any means. I'm comforted by the fact that I find myself extremely hilarious. A great teacher that I adore once said, "The key to being a successful teacher is to entertain yourself." That I do. As a Gemini, I have full conversations with my other "Self". And I laugh. A lot. I recently received 62 "evaluation forms" from my students at a local university that I teach at...all but one seemed to be as entertained by my humor as I am. In fact...leaving me with the average "1 in 60 students that I teach don't like me". Not bad. And, I'm trying not to care about that one persons' opinion. But. I do. Guh. I KNOW! "Really Kim (says the other, more confident and sassy side of the Gemini)? THAT'S ONLY ONE out of 60!" So...what do I do? I sit and conceive of a plan to teach NEXT semester so EVERYONE likes me...right. Yeah. The logical half of the Gemini says, "Duh. The kids are taking you for one credit. A good majority don't even CARE about yoga...much less you as a teacher. Get over it!" So...I'll listen harder to the logical side of my self. Or...should I say "Slef"...and make my lifetime friends outside of university credit classes.

This is the path of the householder. Make no mistake. The hardest path. There isn't a day that passes I don't dream of some far off cave in the Himalayas...cloistered. Cloaked from the view of others who may judge me harshly. Alone. Independent. Except for the two sides of my Slef. In constant conversation. And then...I remember how much I LOVE people. Even if they don't always love me...people fascinate me...and if it wasn't for teaching yoga, I'd have no excuse to remind them ALL how incredibly AWESOME they are. How awesome YOU are. And...how LOVED I am...

ROCK ON!

Fall Teaching Schedule

2010-09-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

FALL SCHEDULE!

I am happy to announce the beginning of something destined to be beautiful! I have partnered with Emily Arger of StudioFit here in the Valley to bring you MORE full length (90 minute) yoga classes influenced by the teachings of John Friend and the method of Anusara Yoga.

Beginning Wednesday, September 8th I will be teaching at StudioFit:

Wednesdays 6:30-8:00 PM (Mixed Levels...all are welcome!)
Fridays 9:30-11:00 AM (Mixed Level)

At the Valley YMCA (unchanged):
Sunday 2:00-3:30 PM (Mixed Level)
Tuesday 10:50-11:50 AM (Mixed Level)

Thursday 10:50-11:50 AM

At the 4th Avenue Spokane Club (note time changes):
Monday 10:30-11:45 AM (Yoga Therapeutics)
Tuesday/Thursday 9:00-10:00 AM (Mixed Level)

I am also available for private therapeutics and full-length yoga classes for individuals or small groups. Please contact me.

Thank you for your studentship! Happy FALL!

LOVE!

Theme Intro "Looming our Tapestry"

2010-08-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

2010-08-08T17:46:00.000-07:00

Funny. Really. Who KNEW?!

Today, my yoga theme was completely inspired by a song that anyone would NOT associate with yoga...yet, I felt it so COMPLETELY in my body that I had to share it. That's right. This song tells the tale of my journey to where I am right now...in life. In yoga. And, I dedicate this rendition entirely to my teachers...particularly John Friend...who, I believe, would thoroughly appreciate the humor in converting this hard rock (and not ENTIRELY inappropriate) song into that of devotion and gratitude. Yeah...I had a bit of fun. It's corny...but, truly IS what happened (and continues to happen) to me. I WAS Thunderstruck!

Shaktified
(to the tune of "Thunderstruck"...many thanks to Bon Scott and the other, lovely members of AC/DC...ROCK ON!)

I was Caught
In the middle of a railroad track (Thunder)
I looked round
And I knew there was no turning back (Thunder)
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do (Thunder)
And I knew
It was all ‘cause, all ‘cause of you (Thunder)
Sound of the guns
Beatin' in my heart
The thunder of guns (it)
Tore me apart
I’ve been - Shaktified (Thunderstruck)
[Rode | Went] down the highway
Broke the limit, I hit the town
Went through to Texas, yeah Texas
And I had some fun
I met some Dude
Some yogi who knew a good time
Expanded some old rules, They were really COOL
Yeah, yeah, they, they, they blew my mind
I was shakin' at the knees
Could I have found peace?
Yeah this yoga was sublime
I've been - thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck
Yeah
Oh, thunderstruck, yeah
Now I'm shaking at the knees
One more time again please?
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah
Said yeah, it's alright
We're doing fine
Yeah, it's alright
We're doing fine
(So fine)
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Whoa baby, baby, thunderstruck
I've been thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck
I've been thunderstruck

New York Times article...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

2010-07-29T15:28:00.001-07:00

Interesting conversation today. With a student. On the subject of Anusara yoga. Hmmmm. Student had read the recent NYT article about John and wasn't enthusiastic about practicing a method of yoga that he interpreted as highly "commercialized." Hmmmm. I found my temperature rising a bit...(being the firey girl that I am...) but, I took several deep breaths as I nodded and "hmmmm'd" along with his explanation. Yes, I'd read the article too. Yes, John Friend is my teacher. Yes, I do my best to align my classes with the Anusara method. Yes, Anusara is growing. No, it certainly is NOT about the money or fame. Is John a mogul? Hell if I know...I don't really know what that word means, but what I do know is that John is a VERY astute business man. And, well yeah...he's an American. And, yeah...he's really good at marketing. Yeah...he's REALLY brilliant at yoga. And yeah, he's one of the scant minority who has developed a way to support himself through doing what he loves...yoga. Wow. So. While I initially felt a bit defensive of John...instead of going to that place...I asked "Bob", "So, have you enjoyed my classes?" Bob, "Yes. Very Much. But, if I would have read this article before attending one of your classes I don't think I would have given Anusara a chance." By the way, let me just add that "Bob" has been traveling well out of his way at least once a week to attend my classes (...taking the place of a more convenient location and class) to receive the teachings that have been put in place, by none other than John himself (and, yes, I OFTEN refer to my teachers by name...)

I didn't need to defend Anusara (so I didn't.) Or John (so I didn't.) The teachings and the method speak for themselves. So, us John "groupies" ...well...we'll just keep on doin' what we do...shining our light with an open heart...and, well...y'all know the rest :D ...

...We'll just SHAKTIFY THE HOUSE!

Shine on

2010-07-28T19:13:00.000-07:00

As the Heavens are reflected

in the mirror of the Sea,

I am reflected within You.

As the sheen of glass mirrors

the neighboring Shrine,

You are reflected within Me.

As the Moon glows with
the veiled light of the Sun,
We are the shared
luminosity of Perfection.

Divine connection without condition

we are the image of Supreme Love.

The purity of our Spirit

cannot be masked

by the transience

of Mortality.

Together, reflected, we are the Effulgent,

Sacred embodiment of Love.

Main Street Yoga, LLC lives..

2010-05-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

A little over a year ago, the space at 20 W. Main in downtown Spokane known as heart-centered Main Street Yoga was put to rest. Literally, to sleep. The teachers and students who were the heart of our little studio moved on...the former to other venues of teaching and the latter, to other teachers or venues of teachers. But, the essence of what was (and remains) Main Street Yoga lives NOW and will rise again in the form of a studio when the stars are aligned appropriately and the Universe offers It's auspicious blessing. Until then, you will find our teachers throughout the city of Spokane and as far away as Palm Springs, California (Love and miss you, Scottie!) teaching privately and in studios, colleges and health clubs. Although I was the "director" with my name on the lease, it was all of the teachers and the students that were the Shakti of Main Street Yoga. The power, will and LOVE. To you all, I offer my deepest gratitude.

Lot's of love to you,

Kim

Carrying on the tradition of heart-centered practice, I continue to offer yoga classes in Spokane at the following locations, and private sessions by appointment:

Sunday: Valley YMCA - 2-3:30
Tuesday: Spokane Athletic Club, 4th Avenue (Valley) - 9-10:15 am
Valley YMCA - 10:50 - 11:50 am

Thursday: 4th Ave Spokane club - 9-10:15

Non-Yoga Classes
Monday: 4th Ave - Pilates - 10:30-11:30 am
Valley YMCA - TRX Basic Power Drills - 12:15-1 pm

Interested in private sessions, call for appointment 509-869-0817

Preferences

2010-04-23T10:10:00.001-07:00

Coffee over tea. Broccoli over cauliflower. Chocolate over licorice. Orange over green. Snorkel over scuba. Arctic over tropic. Old over young. Books over television. Humor over drama. Outside over inside.

These are just a few of the ways I roll. They haven't changed much over the years...until now. I suspect many of my preferences are melting away due to the 'path' racing up to meet and greet me at an ever-increasing (and somewhat mind-numbing, stomach-churning) pace. I don't care so much anymore if my 'preferences' aren't met. No...REALLY! My attitude (heh heh) has slowly become the cliche' that I've DESPISED for years (due to the 'stoner' class I used to find myself surrounded...and annoyed...by during the impressionable era of my formation...):

"Hey maaannnnnn, it's ALLLLLLLllllllll gooooooodd." (insert lopey grin here)

It still irritates the hell out of me when I hear it (ever so subtly now, of course, as I've begun to learn how to be as a 'seeper hose' and let all the negative Shakti dissipate gradually out of my pores...)

Yep. Preferences are like opinions (...a slight variation of a saying my husband likes to use...) "Everybody's got one..." or a million. And, the challenge is in not letting them "stink" up the experience when I don't get 'em. In not making my preferences judgments. Well. Okay then. Chocolate's cool, but I'll take some licorice. I like rockin' with the grandmas and grandpas, but I'll hang out on the monkey bars with a kid or two.

So, yeah. You bet. This Tantra. It helps me REALLY see the sparkly awesomeness of it ALL.

Well...almost all. The jury's still out on mosquitos.

The Devil in Prana

2010-04-08T19:30:00.001-07:00

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company ...a church ...a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past ...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ...I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."

Charles Swindoll

For 3 weeks, I've been stumped. Iccha Sakti Uma Kumari...'kay. The only personal interpretation that I have been able to come up with goes something like: Whatever I want...if I want it bad enough...I will MAKE it happen. Through my energy...the power of my intuition. Okay. So. Good enough. It's true! It's happened. Playfulness and all...even things that don't appear very "playful" at the time. Death. Disease. Poverty. Failure. Divorce (or, near divorce.) Break-ups. Looking back, everything that has happened in my life has been willed by my thoughts. No kidding. You know, it seems whack-daddy. I know. I'm a little bat-shit crazy...so having something like this erupt from my pitted and pocked mind is no surprise to those who know me well. But. This "theory" I believe. Because I've lived it...and been able to trace every occurrence to a particular thought (or series of thoughts) that I had. Yep. And, the CRAZIEST part of it all is that it wasn't so much the thought itself but the TONE or ATTITUDE I had at the time of the thought. I KNOW! Flippin' nuts! The playfulness of Uma...hmmm. 'kay. It all goes back to spanda. You know. One person's idea of Heaven is another's Hell. I think I've danced with the Devil a time or two (...really?...well. Who hasn't? I wanna know...) And...enjoyed EVERY torrid minute (or lifetime) of it...right? You see...playfulness is perspective. Attitude is everything...the road to Hell is paved with Good intentions...A cat plays with the mouse it eventually kills...cliche' after cliche'. I get it. Sort of. Though, tomorrow it will look different to me. Here's what I resolve: Observe my attitude. Get less of a bad one. Combat (or at least tussel with) my ridiculous ego. And...give my husband more attention. Which would mean, in a nutshell...give MORE of myself to those closest to me. Play more. You know. Dance. More.

Flashes

2010-04-03T15:34:00.001-07:00

My oldest daughter has informed me that she fully resents my disposition toward exercise. Yoga is at the top of her list...though we all know that yoga is FAR more than physical exercise. She can't see that...yet. One day, she may change her mind but right now I don't really talk about it with her. She gets touchy and cuts me off if I begin to defend the practice. She wants to NOT talk about it. See it. Hear it. Read about it. Yep. She's closed herself completely off. She's a stubborn one, that girl. But, I know from experience that she isn't impossibly so. She told me that she would NEVER go skiing. (She had her one and only bad experience at age 5 and insisted that it would always be like that...) And, she found a new love for it when it was a required part of her school expedition this year. Ah. Yes. Gotta love it.

I feel the same way about "flash in the pan" fads. Resentful. Rebellious. I've always stood by the 'tried and true', classical things...in fashion and fitness. It even carried over a bit into electronics. But, every once in awhile, a 'fad' grabs me and I'm a fan for life. I've ALWAYS loved short boots (remember the 80's scrunch boots...they were SOOO cool!) I've always known that a person needs to exercise at least 60 minutes a day (with at least 30 minutes of that cardiovascular conditioning...) I'm sorry, but there really is NO shortcut to health. You must MOVE YOUR BODY. But, occasionally, something new comes out that just blows my MIND. Right now, that is the TRX functional training system. It's really not a new concept, suspension training has been done in a variety of ways since I can remember (let's see, without dating my self, that would be 1974 at age 5 when the over-the-door stretchy band thing was big...we even owned one.) But, my favorite part of the workout is the varying intensities...without huge, time consuming modifications. I can go from REALLY easy to REALLY challenging in less than 3 seconds (typically.) And it is so portable. I sound like an ad for the company "Fitness Anywhere" (I promise that I am in no way receiving monetary kick-backs from this...) You can do every single exercise on the TRX (in one variation or another) that you can do in the gym with free weights. I love it. We're getting one for our home. I showed my husband some of the exercises on it the other day and he was impressed at how much of a challenge it could be...with just two simple straps of webbing and a 'biner. Yeah, baby. I also love that all your using is your own body weight, gravity and lever length.

So...while my oldest girl is defiantly opposed to my teaching her meditation and asana, I know she'll get a big kick out of hanging from the ceiling like a circus freak.

"It's a BEAUTIFUL day!"

2010-03-29T20:46:00.001-07:00

Astonished. I am incredibly happy. Joyful, even. Intense, yeah. Severe, maybe. Offensive, whatever...probably. But/and/also...blissed out. "It's a BEAUTIFUL day!" My new mantra. Strangely, repeating it in my head, out loud, or on Facebook makes it completely true. The inspiration for this is a wonderful man that has been personal-training my husband. His name is Ben. He says "It's a BEAUTIFUL day"...every day. Every session. He makes everyone smile...and BELIEVE that it truly is a beautiful day. What is so amazing to me is the existence of people like Ben and his wife, who are so authentically pure, joyful, GOOD spirits. It makes me laugh when I think how hard I work at being what they are so innately. It's FUNNY. Really. But, I find humor in everything. I laugh. A lot. Mostly at myself, 'cause I think I'm pretty funny (...but, I also think I'm a rockstar...) I realize that the joy I find in everyday things makes me super woman. No kidding. If I'm rockin' the smile, feelin' the beauty in the day...I am UNSTOPPABLE. It takes years off of my true age. I can run with the big dogs (well...I can TRY to keep up with Heather, but I think she, too, has found the beauty in the day and the joy in little things...) My life hasn't been easy. I haven't made the best choices. But, astonishingly, all of that doesn't matter...except that it's led me to the joy I find in the easy-ness of my life. The sparkle of my husbands eyes (they DO sparkle...) and the supreme wisdom of my youngest child (she is an old-soul for sure...) And the sweetness in the spirits that surround me EVERY day. Yeah. This life is a good one. A BEAUTIFUL one. Rock on.

Me breathing...

2010-03-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

Just relax. Prana will flow. This week has been an amazing adventure into the realm of breathing. My most outstanding revelation has been this: When I pay attention and observe my breath, all negativity leaves my mind and body. My back body softens. Everything slows down. Dancing with the Goddess. Not my nurtured tendency to Jitterbug...but, my NATURAL tendency to Waltz. Goddess. All is the Goddess. Yes...

I've seen a lot of death. I've witnessed innumerable 'last breaths'. One thing is common...the slowing, the shallow reduction of inspiration. To share the last breath of someone is sacred. Like a birth...quite. I haven't been hardened by deaths...at all. A last breath is a testimony to the life a person has lived. Holy. Unrepentant. You bet. At that moment, the spirit knows what a carnival mortality is. Whether they've ridden their years on the Ferris Wheel or the Zipper...or a bit of both...the stamp on their hand STILL gets them in...wherever "in" is.

conundrum of polarity

2010-03-21T10:41:00.000-07:00

Two sides. That's me. Gemini. ALL THE WAY. I forgot about that a bit, during this journey in yoga. Yesterday in my advanced immersion kula, I was abruptly reminded of my own duality. Not in a terrible way...somewhat disturbing, yes...but ultimately bearable. Everyday life is systematic...I might even say routine (gasp!), but when I am holding space within my study circle I discover the polarity of my experiences. In yoga. As a teacher, I am confident in front of a class. Solid within the teachings I've assimilated. Steadfast in my determination to pass them on. Being in the Seat is a fabulous challenge for me...the preparation involved in developing my theme and sequence is completely engrossing. I chant. I journal. I chant. I study. I write. I chant. It is not without significant dedication that my class is "born". But, as I sit in Kula. Among my "peers"...many of whom are significantly more practiced and studied and wise...the soap that is doubt bubbles to the top, nearly washing away all of my confidence as a 'teacher'. It is with deep appreciation and reverence for the teachings that I sit amongst the circle, and my love and devotion only grows stronger...with every second. As for my ego, well, it disintegrates ever more minute by minute. Yoga is a work in progress...as are we. Finding joy...amidst the suffering of life. The inescapable pain is, ultimately, what leads us (like a horse to water) to the bliss. So, yeah. My study. My "self" observation hurts. A lot. But, in a way it's like the scab that you can't resist picking. Or itchy eyes that you can't escape rubbing. The pain is kinda good. I can't help it. I keep coming back for more. But, unlike scab-picking and eye-rubbing, I KNOW that it's good for me...in the long run. Immediately, it feels like torture. My mind is a garbage-heap of questioning doubt: "Who the HELL am I kidding? I don't know SHIT! How can I call myself a yoga teacher!??" But then. I leave kula. My life returns to it's cycle. I sit. I journal. I chant. I study. I chant. I pause. I breathe. I know. I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing. To the capacity that I can be doing it. There is a minor amount of ego...but not so much that I'm unaware of my frailties. Not so much that I will not admit my fallibilities. And NEVER so much ego that I can not feel compassion, love, and empowerment for the lovely beings who sit with me and share the space we call "kula". To them, I am most grateful.

Making Meaning

2010-03-13T09:59:00.000-08:00

Ishvarapranidhana. Faith that gives my life substance. Belief that there is a grand Cause of all that is this Universe. Making meaning happen in the mundane occurrences of daily living. Donna Farhi says if we insist upon believing we are the controlling factor...life itself can be meaningless and empty. Especially when “things” fail to go the way we want them to. It’s the spiritual element to life...the prime facet that makes us much more than instinct-driven mammals. That which gives meaning to our movements, actions, relationships. When life’s experiences, accomplishments and trials are given the understanding of being somewhat influenced by a greater Force, we can accept fully our journey as having purpose...whether or not we understand the “why” is what gives our life mystery. It is not fatalism. We still have a choice, and each choice will lead us on a different path with a different outcome. Without faith in some Supreme force, how do we continue to serve the Greater Good?

Spiritual practice is the cornerstone of yoga. Simple focused attention will give the most basic activities meaning. Thoughtfully washing the dishes one piece at a time with a feeling of appreciation for the utility of their service. Pausing over a meal to invoke or intend gratitude for the abundance upon the plate...attending to the details involved in bringing this nourishment to your home and to the kitchen table. Listening to a stranger with compassion and interest while in line at the grocery store, bank, news stand, etc. In my life, it’s attending to ONE activity at a time. Not two, three or ten. Bringing my full awareness to the subject or activity. That means keeping my mind in the same place as my body. Having reverence for, literally, everything in life. It takes constant reminding. Slow down. Pay attention...BE attention. Be attenTIVE. Be. When I practice yoga, every pose and every transition is imbued with devotion, love, awe, and yeah, rapture. Asanas are a prayer, a sacred offering to the Supreme. I open to what the Highest has for me. I feel Mother earth dotingly beneath me. I hug in with strength of my intention and the ever-growing power of devotion. I create space in my contractions and soften my hard places. I firm the boundaries that will channel the ferocity of my spirit. Emanating out through my very skin, I demonstrate the love that so fills me. I shine out with immense, blinding light that is undimmed by this mortal journey. I thank God. My practice softens me. Blatantly. Obviously. While I move on the mat, my mind, affect and aura brighten. I melt into the sanctuary of Divine nurture and Supreme love for what this body holds. Consciousness. Sharing for what is True. Unconditional, always present, completely embracing, rapturous LOVE. Divine, uninterrupted ecstatic bliss.

AMEN!

Kitcheri Recipe

2010-03-04T14:15:00.000-08:00

Kitcheri

1 cup brown (or white) basmati rice (white rice makes for a 'mushier' consistencey)
1/2 cup mung beans
1 Tsp Curry (or to taste)
1 Tsp Cumin (or to taste)
1/2 Tsp Turmeric
Salt to taste

3 cups water (less for thicker, more for soupier...I like it thick and fluffy)

Combine all ingredients in slow cooker. Cook on low overnight or several hours. Recipe can easily be adapted to stove top cooking, cook it like you would brown rice...maybe a little longer. This is a great, wholesome, nourishing one-pot meal. It is good if you are 'cleansing' but not fasting. It is good for ALL constitutional types (Vata, Pitta, Kapha)...though ingredients can be modified allowing for balance of doshic 'derangement' .

Enjoy! All my love! Kim

Pondering the Moon

2010-02-28T10:25:00.000-08:00

It's the full moon in February. Also the last day of the month. As I research potential themes for my classes this week, I ran across the Ashtanga yoga tradition of not practicing on full moon or new moon days. Hmm. It seems that it has to do with the body's vulnerability to injury during these days. Our body is comprised mostly of water, and is therefore affected by the phases of the moon (like the tides of the oceans). In the Anusara tradition, the moon would be likened to Muscular Energy. As it reflects the rays of the sun and is wholly dependent upon another source for it's light. It draws from outside in. Without the nourishing, Organic illumination of the sun, it is dark and cold...and in fact, without the sun our galaxy would cease to exist as we know it. All life on this planet would end. Our planet hangs in the balance between two necessary extremes. Ha - is the Sun. Tha - is the Moon. Hatha yoga is the scientific practice of finding balance in our selves as our world has between the polarity of the Muscular Energy of the Moon and the Organic Energy of the Sun. This week we will play with Muscular and Organic Energy and pray for the discovery of balance in our bodies. Eventually, the physical practice of Hatha yoga will lead us to the richer, deeper revelation of inner balance. Or, at least direct us on the path...if not actually, perhaps cosmologically :D

De-fanning the Fire

2010-02-26T16:11:00.000-08:00

I'm a Vata-Pitta. Air and fire. That means I'm either anxious and afraid or angry and determined...or some of both: Anxiously pissed-off, fearfully angry, afraid that I'm angry, or pissed-off that I'm scared. Which could be scary (and life-threatening) when combined with 'determined' providing: A) There are any sharp objects nearby. B) there are any sharp, projectile objects nearby. C) there are any sharp POTENTIALLY projectile objects nearby...hell, and D) make that any objects that could become potentially projectile...blunt, sharp or able to be improvised as such.

While I've embraced my fiery nature...put it to good, constructive use...I'm a little less enchanted by my proclivity toward anger. My air fans my fire causing me to 'react' without thinking through the consequences (many of which affecting the lives of other people...)...just some of which may be hurt feelings (not mine.) I'm a mouthy girl. Sassy. A bit sarcastic. Even a little too honest sometimes (where others have the sense to veil the truth enough to soften the caustic facts...) This path of self-discovery unearthed (from the deep recesses of my ego) these non-life affirming vices. WHOA. Never mind that in the process, I've veritably torched (INCINERATED) numerous friendships...I've spent a good many years attempting to mend broken (burned) fences. Sadly (for me) most of which attempts got nowhere...neither absolution or satisfaction. Anxiety. That's it. Blah.

This path has showed me just that. The past is the past. AHA! My intentions to repair past failed relationships...or at least the hearts involved...never really succeeded. So. My change is thus: With awareness, I will cultivate and nurture the relationships that I now have. Use my loving words, not my acidic ones. Shine more. Dim less. Hug more...grab more ass...(well, you know what I mean ;) ...show the lasting LOVE that I really have...not the fleeting ire. What an epiphany!! An EXPLOSION of consciousness! Who'd a thought...?

This is a FIERY, WILD RIDE...gonna live it...LOT'S...with love.

Hard turns to soft

2010-02-21T11:18:00.000-08:00

This is my heart. On fire. Melting. It's ecstatic. Over time, I have begun to ease my mind around particular ideas. No way to really explain how or why I've finally started to let go...but this is what's happening to me, now. Make no mistake, sometimes it's unbearable...excruciating. But, I'm all the softer for it. "Softness" was never a word I would use, willingly, to describe what I wanted to cultivate as a virtue. But I sure as hell didn't want to be "hard", either...which is, honestly, the more accurate description of my nature. Fiery is me, but it is fire that has melted my resistance to acknowledge (and change) my 'hard' ways. Fire describes my personality...but, it is also the method to my healing. "Poison as the cure" . My burning heart fills me with enthusiasm and fascination for this life that surrounds me...envelopes me. Unbridled love brimming over my sharp, steep edges. More now than ever before...even during moments of frustration and ire, I expand with understanding, even reverence, for my fallible nature. It's not like my old days...when I may not have even been aware of an outburst, or if I was, I would have been likely to chastise and denigrate myself for the behavior. Though the outbursts or frustrations may still occur more frequently than I'd like them to, I am consciously aware of them slowly (...ever so slowly) becoming less and less. This is what I strive for. More patience. Understanding. Compassion. Love. Toward myself as well as others. This heart of mine is a'melting. It's pure bliss. It's Shri. It's a journey. Walk on, Sister...

"Straight" Heart Afire

2010-02-20T14:42:00.000-08:00

This great uprising of joy...of sensation. It's like when a fire begins at the base of a mountain, or canyon, and explodes chasing the tips of it's own flames to the top. It seems to be what is happening for me in this place. And, I have found that the more I open to the experience, the wilder the ride. It REALLY is blowing my ever-lovin' mind. It's not something that is fleeting (like a fire burning up a mountain side.) I can feel that it is sustaining...and, of course, the more I'm aware of it's sustenance the more I enjoy it. It fills me, quite literally, all the way up and expands in every direction from it's origin...which I feel is in the physical region of my pelvis. There is no denying it's effect on me...though it's intensity seems overwhelming at times (a lot of the time.) It's a big, gigantic, "YES!" And a big, hearty laugh. And, it casts a sparkly illumination on everything around me...especially people. Unbounded beauty surrounds me. It's a very good, powerful...BLISSFUL...fiery ride (all the way to the top.)

Lost (and stoned) In Translation

2010-02-19T12:17:00.001-08:00

Okay, since I'm still trying VERY hard to wrap my brain around this yoga 'stuff' (and therefore can't really speak articulately about the richness and depth of it all)...I'm going to tell of an experience I had as a youth that I consider to be relative to opening up and receiving a great "AHA!"

As an eighth-grader, I was very sick with pneumonia and home from school for several weeks. In my abundance of downtime, I became fascinated with cryptic puzzles. Now, first, it's important to state the obvious, that I was heavily medicated...with antibiotics and pain killers (my pneumonia was accompanied by a case of bronchitis, so I was very uncomfortable...) One evening, I was puzzling over the intricacies of a particular cryptogram...struggling with the possibilities of translation. Ages and ages of frustration and contraction. At least, it had felt like ages. Hours really. Eventually, I became too tired (or perhaps, too stoned) and just sat staring at the puzzle with absolutely no effort. And, wouldn't you know it. It came to me. Just like that. Seemingly out of nowhere...."FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE." I was SO thrilled. Udyamo Bhairavah. But, the revelation only came to me when I finally let go of effort and contraction. And, of course, only AFTER hours of studying and staring at the same lines over and over and over and over and over (...so, not without Sakti-cakra-samdhane visva-samharah) did the puzzle finally open up to me. This is why we study. Eventually, my mind WILL begin to wrap itself around this stuff called 'Yoga'...but not without ages and ages of dedicated study (and practice) over an extended period of time.

Tat Sat.

Duh

2010-01-16T10:49:00.001-08:00

Sensitivity. The more open I become, the more I feel. The less I contract, the softer I am. My connection to everything around me is entirely dependent upon my ability to open and soften. My nature is to armor myself through muscle and competition. when I open and become soft and receptive, I no longer want to win--or even join the race. I just want to surround myself with the ecstatic vibration of creation. I see nothing but beauty. What a revelation it has been to discover (awaken to) that everything shimmers in the light of Divine Grace. There is no need for me to search further for contentment outside of what I already recognize, but to recognize that what surrounds me is just enough. Supreme beauty.

Shri--ever present, within and without. I open and, BEHOLD! It has, and will always be here. Right HERE! Tat Sat.

Inventions, Intention and Surrender

2009-11-29T09:18:00.000-08:00

I was asked to contemplate my intentions for beginning yet another year long advanced immersion. It was made clear that it wasn't a teacher training, that we should be taking the immersion for our own growth and practice and not planning to "learn it to teach it." Out of the 10 or so accepted into the immersion, over half (myself included) are actively teaching yoga classes. This has been my conundrum.

My personal journey in yoga began just over 11 years ago after the birth of my first child. It was then I truly 'opened to Grace' and realized that I will no longer (if I ever did) have control over my life. I began, very tentatively, to investigate yoga as a way to surrender to the Universal. I had never considered yoga as a way to get fit (at that time, I hadn't realized Madonna's commitment to it as a fitness regime.) I was searching for anything to help me cope with the unexpected challenges of single-motherhood.

Practice began VERY simply. One day a week (sometimes more, sometimes less) I attended classes at a house in a historic neighborhood of Spokane. The classes were taught by women. It was $8 to drop in. It was mostly about devotional chanting...I remember some asanas, but they don't stand out it my memory as much as the mantras we sang together. After a few months of classes, I researched the idea of visiting an Ashram with my baby daughter. It turned out to be infeasible. Although, they were very kind and welcoming in helping to come up with solutions to care for her while I was assisting on the grounds...it would be too complicated. So my journey took a detour. For awhile. It wasn't long before I found a practice FAR different than the one I had come into at first. Much more physical, it didn't have the demands of chant or meditation or study. Because of this, it was EASIER. Though, by then I had met my husband and had my second baby and I wasn't in the same place I was emotionally with my first. I looked to yoga for a different reason. Now it was ALL about the shoulders, baby. How many chatturangas can I do (how many is she gonna MAKE me do?) Turns out, just ENOUGH to wreck my right rotator cuff. Oops. Too many classes without enough instruction. I'd spent at least an active decade in the gym prior to finding yoga so I was strong...and I had a decent understanding of anatomy. But not in the context of yoga. Alas, time to move on.

While I was pregnant with my third baby, I reconnected with an old friend. Turns out she was a certified Anusara yoga teacher. Until then, I had never heard of Anusara. I invited her to present a workshop at one of the gyms that I worked at. Not enough people knew of Anusara at that time (at least in Spokane) so the workshop was canceled. But, I became curious. I began investigating locally for Anusara teachers. There were NONE in Spokane. Couer D'Alene had Karen, though! I went to the first class I could. I was hooked. Such a different energy than ANY other form I'd practiced (not that I'd practiced many...) Really embracing. We might have done one chatturanga. But, her knowledge of anatomy and the thought that went into her sequence was overwhelming! I'd never attended a class with a THEME. A theme that was woven seamlessly throughout the entire class and through most postures. It was lovely. I was in love!

Not too long after that first class, I became a devoted student of Karen's (and John Friend) and enrolled in the first year-long Anusara immersion. Life happened in the middle of that first one, so I had to postpone my studies. I re-enrolled the following Fall for the same immersion. Finished it nearly a year later. I can't believe how MUCH it changed my life. The changes weren't so obvious on the outside, and, in fact, probably the only person who noticed any difference was myself. As if I weren't already a thinker. Mostly, too much of a thinker. Anyway, I studied with John whenever I could (still do) and other Anusara teachers as they come through for workshops. Thus far, I've failed to admit the fact that I had been 'teaching' yoga classes throughout his entire time period. Even, owning and operating a studio for a time. Hosting a workshop or two. It had been an obstacle to my own learning and I soon reduced the amount of classes that I 'taught' and, even, sold my studio (for a multitude of reasons, not all related.) I was happy for the opportunity to settle more deeply in my own practice. Knowing that this would only benefit my teaching in the classes that remained. And it has. How could it not? But, I think I may have forgotten, for a time at least, how I was introduced to this path. I believe I began to doubt my intentions. As I am about to embark on a THIRD Immersion, I have been disecting my purpose and growth in yoga. What has been revealed is that I do not "learn it to teach it"...that teaching is, and has always been, a vehicle for my own understanding of the vast richness presented to me in study and practice. If the upcoming year should expose some weakness in my learning and teaching, I will, without question, quit teaching. I will not sacrifice my journey on the path of yoga in order to hold a captive audience. That is what a stage is for. And, in truth, if that is what I truly desired I would pursue a hobby in theater. Yoga mustn't be a 'hobby'...and it is MUCH more than a way to get/stay fit...I can only surmise that yoga is life. Not a life. Life. For me, thus far, yoga has not only made me more aware but has saturated every part of me. My life is MUCH more complex (certainly more complete) and not any less hard...and quite possibly...has become even MORE worrisome. Judith Lasater said it best, and said it true, "Yoga will ruin your life. Thank God." Yeah. Well. No kidding.

Greening

2009-11-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, a woman lived. Well. Extremely well. At least in her eyes. She did her best to leave the world as, or better than, she found it. Knowing, as she lived this way, it was a lofty mission. Her teachers were exemplary in demonstrating right-living, and she referred to them often in times of confusion. And there were many. Confusing times. Quite often, it was more difficult making the most life-affirming choices. In fact, it was ALWAYS more difficult...at least, initially "difficult" held the definition. Then, it became excruciating. Because, all at once, the woman realized her attempts to live 'rightly' were feeble at best. All at once. The revelation descended upon her as the sudden inability to exhale. Anxiety overtook her. She understood nothing. Her former self-righteousness embarrassed her. Caring for her body had been limited to eating right, exercising and meditating (kinda)...she now realized that her "Body" consisted of much more than her flesh and bones but that it entailed the WHOLE of creation! She realized that every single thing she thought, said, or did affected EVERYTHING...EVERYWHERE...All the time. Her task of recycling...of being "Green" wasn't enough. Never had been. She didn't really know if she was capable of doing what she now understood was essential for the health of her "Body." The woman resolved to take baby steps. Continue with mindfulness, but expand it exponentially. She thanked her teachers for bringing the obvious to her attention, and made the commitment to try to live as well as possible...from here on...ad infinitum.

...to be continued.

माय Teachers

2009-11-22T13:07:00.000-08:00

I am always thinking about my teachers...how grateful I am for them. I have more than I have ever had...despite dozens of years in school. Instructors aren't the same as teachers, and, well, that's what a lot of school was for me: Instruction. I have actually found that I NEED someone to help guide me on this path of right-living...maybe it's not the need itself, but the humility to recognize the need that has changed me. That's it. Humility. Finally realizing that I don't know everything...or anything, really. And that beautiful revelation isn't meant to be self-deprecating. It is more empowering than I ever imagined.

My kids...well...they're a spazzy bunch. And sassy...like their mom. They throw fits...like their mom (yep. I do.) They yell (yep.) They fight (actually, no...that I never did.) They over-dramatize EVERYTHING...(who me? no...never.) They are the greatest teachers...showing me the way. The RIGHT way. Their sweet innocence (despite the fallibilities of childhood)teaches me what I never knew, or perhaps, forgot. I've often said, "I thought I was a good person...'til I had kids." It's not really meant to be funny (though it is)...it's true for me. My kids have helped me to begin to let go of my "ego mind." Can't help it. Before I make ANY sort of plans, I have to consider what the repercussions will be for my kids. Takes the ego out of EVERYTHING.

On the other end is my yoga teachers. Y'all have heard me credit them...or mention them. I've had many (but not as many as some) and I credit them all for my place in the Universe right now. I've learned that the students sometimes (most of the time) eventually outgrow the teachers. It is the teachers responsibility to inform the student. After all, they are the teacher and sometimes students are so devoted so in love so dedicated...they can't see the forest through the trees. In my experience, it's a period of years...perhaps decades...before this can happen. It can be as painful as a divorce...but not as, typically, negative. The intention is to encourage the student to pursue another guide on this phase of the path...not to discredit or dis-empower the previous teacher. In more than one way, it is a form of love. To keep a student longer than necessary is ego mind. Believing that the teacher will ALWAYS supercede the student...rarely the case. Sometime the student may transcend the teacher. *GASP* No. Really. My teachers are ALL brilliant. More brilliant than I will EVER be. The credit is due their diligence and insurmountable tolerance in leading me. But, as the student grows...perhaps it's more about the WAY the student needs to be taught than the teachings themselves. It's all about presentation, people. I'm guilty of this scenario: Know the teacher well. Used to the method. Something new...but not in the presentation. *yawn*...nothing gets retained...because I've tuned out. Key point: It's NOT the teacher...it's ME. And that fact alone contributes to the necessity of change. Never would I blame the giver...but, me as the receiver.

Change is what life consists of. Really, what makes life interesting. For me, anyway. And, 12 years ago NO ONE could have convinced me that I'd be a mother...much less a mother to 4 kids. That would have been my ego. "Sorry...PhD is on the menu...not family."

Well, here I am. Thankful. In love. Completely blissed-out in the way my life has, thus far, unfolded. I can't WAIT for the next 40 years!

A Gift

2009-11-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

As a write this, a little boy I know struggle for his life. Having read, "The Divine Matrix" I am inspired by the idea of emotive healing. So I did it. At 12:00 today, I paused for one minute and FELT Parker better. Healed. Pain-free. Happy. I know I'm not the only one. I want with all my soul for this to be true and for him to be completely disease-free.

Wow. This life is a roller-coaster. I know this. I always have. That's what keeps me interested in this mortal existence. At a deep level, I have always understood that life was meant to be both tragic and joyful. And, not always in balance. And, I've always understood (sometimes in different contexts due to plenty of research into various religions) that no matter what happens we continue to exist in the Universe long after our mortal lives have ended. It's become my intention to live without creating MORE suffering than is necessary in the world. As Parker fights his valiant battle against an extremely resilient opponent, I can only offer him the most pain free path I can emote. Visions of him smiling. Loving. Laughing.

This is the gift I must offer to everyone. So I do. Copiously. Jai jai jai.

Pause

2009-05-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

The pause.

In classes, lately, the subject of pulling back...of holding center before reacting, has held court. Not coincidentally, I'm in the middle of a great book that was recommended to me and that I will recommend to you, called, "Radical Acceptance." (On a side, I will admit to being in the middle of several great books...which leads back to the theme of pausing and holding court.) This book, written by Tara Brach, is probably one of the most influential books on self-healing that I've read (trust me, I've read many...) due to my crazy tendency (oops, there's that degrading label...) of feeling less than adequate. Most of the time. Yep.

Self-deprecating, yet confident. It's a strange combination that is most likely rooted in my life as a 'survivor'...as opposed to 'victim'. My constant (yet endearing : ) gift of gab. Slowing. Pausing. Re-grouping. It has helped me, on occasion, to pull-back when my instinct tells me to plow forward...consequences be damned. What I have discovered during these times of silence (!) is the ability to identify where the reaction is coming from. Physically and emotionally. For instance, every time I have new students in class my belly does flip-flops and my heart-rate speeds up (third and fourth chakras)...I question my efficacy as a yoga teacher (who doesn't?) And that, of course, is rooted in my old feelings of inadequacy and "nerdiness." Having labeled (or at least targeted) my insecurity, that leads me to the soothing affirmation that no matter what they come away from class thinking, I've done my best.

Perhaps a more general example is that of parenting (gasp!) I feel I live a double life...or at least that of a split personality. My kids make me CRAZY. I'm pretty laid back as a parent...spent the last 10 years establishing only the most necessary of boundaries...which worked well for my very responsible 10 year old girl. But, my seven year old boy...well, let's just say he's a different case. And, I won't even mention my three year old...or my 16 year old stepson. Let's keep it to the 10 and seven year olds. While they are both brilliant (unbiased mother, of course) my son isn't motivated when it comes to school work (or any work for that matter)...but he's an amazingly social and popular kid at school (unlike his mother's elementary school years). He also has an affinity for 'fit-throwing'. Out of control, throwing his body on the floor, keening at the top of his lungs fits. Ew. I HATE those. The good news is, he only does it at home. Or, at least, only when his mother is around. Which may include trips to the grocery store. Lord! So...as his father and I try to assert boundaries that we didn't have to with his older sister, we are constantly hearing..."THAT ISN'T FAIR" ummm...yeah. "Well, buddy...life isn't fair." My point is, I've had to create completely different parenting tactics for all of my kids. My 10 year old is very responsible, but now she's getting this arrogant attitude...my latest response to her ego was, "Listen kid. You have NOT lived long enough to earn this attitude. Drop it now. Or, you will have no friends by the time you enter high school." Yeah...that's me. Perhaps a little too dramatic...but, instilling a little fear into my children seems to be a favorite past-time of mine (ahem! "Skookums"...a subject for another blog.)

My children. Ah. A humbling brood. I thought I was such a good person...until I had kids. I discovered my yelling voice...my trigger points...alcohol...my 'just go away and leave me alone' mood. But, only recently have I discovered a way to pause at the brink of implosion (or explosion depending on the circumstance) and to just breathe. In Brach's book, she calls it the "Sacred Pause"...oh yeah. It is holy. Transformative. Life-saving.

Get the book, if you haven't already (I've been known to be a little behind in pop culture...) devour it. If you are a Type-A, reactionary person (not unlike myself) it will save you.

All my love, gratitude and blessings, Kim.

2009-04-19T18:26:00.000-07:00

Today I showed a bad picture of myself to a room full of strangers.

Mostly because I wanted to prove that even our "bad" moments are transient.

It was a pic of me at 10...pre-orthodontia.

yep. Buck teeth.

Hence, my nickname through the 6th grade, "Kim Buck-tooth"

Well...it helped to make me who I am today.

Resilient.

Steadfast.

Surly.

But...in a way, those years of childhood drama and torment were a blessing.

So today...we talked about what we have been protecting...what secrets have we withheld??? Who have we made ourselves appear to other people???

Well...I, for one, have really plugged the smile thing.

Before braces, I never smiled...except when i couldn't help it...and my protruding front teeth made themselves obvious.

All of this is in an effort to gain freedom. What effort are we putting into withholding secrets that, honestly, no one but us cares about??

Probably too much.

So I showed a hideous picture of me squinting into the camera with a severe overbite and a gaze that looks like it came from too many bong hits...(but, I was only 10...so that probably wasn't the case...) How freeing it was. Yep. Cliche'. I know. But, it was the one photo I have hidden from my friends and family since 1979. Guess what??? I don't think anyone even cared. In fact, I know they didn't...'cause here's the thing..."WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO MAKE OUR LIVES HELL" so...does showing this pic mean I am completely free of my demons??? Uh. No.

BUT!

Today...I feel GOOD! Damn good. 'cause now...EVERYONE knows how ugly I was at 10.

Love and blessings...Kim

God, Beer and Crazy People

2009-04-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

Driving home today...enjoying the gorgeous sunshine and ruminating over life and the Universes' sense of humor...a song came on that just made me laugh out loud, despite the serious theme. And, yeah...for those of you who know me, it was a country song (some of us can't escape our roots, no matter how hard we try and afar we fly from home...) "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy." Yup. Pretty much. Sums up life in this world. And, in reference to the past few days of ranting over grumpy, mean, arrogant people...it's actually a reassuring thought. Don't you think? But really, if I consider that I'm just as crazy (or more so) than the next person it completely changes whatever perspective I may tend to adopt regarding the situation. AWESOME! It also makes it possible for me to really take a second look...to step back and put myself in the other persons' shoes. That way I am a whole lot less likely to judge harshly (or, perhaps, not even judge at all.) Another benefit to this way of thinking is I am also less likely to be AS hard on myself...hmmmmmmm...so, think for a moment...an opportunity to just accept me (you) as I (you) am (are)..."self-acceptance"...a radical thought (also a terrific book I highly recommend "Radical Acceptance.") Let's move on...

Parenting is hard. And maybe not so rewarding...at least at first...and for some, it may always not be (rewarding, that is.) I have friends who are the parents I aspire to be...but, alas...I never will be.
Not gonna happen.
Uh-uh.
No way.
Not in the cards.
Not wired that way.
Not my dharma.
[sigh]
It makes me crazy sometimes...well, okay...most of the time. My best friend is this ambitious, ever-present, doting, volunteering, homework-helping, organic-food-entire-meal cooking, bedroom-cleaning, spaghetti-sauce-from-scratch-making icon of perfection. Um. Yeah. That's right. I'm not. Well, I am ambitious and I guess I do cook organic as I can...but my sauce comes from a jar. And, the few times I've cleaned my kids' rooms...not so much as a "Thanks Mom!" and in less than a day the rooms are a disaster again. Yep. That's gratitude for ya. It irks me. Not because I was this particularly gracious child...but I have to say I was a lot more grateful. It's a weird thing with these last coupla generations...entitlement. Huh. I shake my head as I watch the neighbors buy their 16 year old just-licensed daughter a nicer car than I drive (and I must add that they are not better off financially...) I can't wrap my brain around what the outcome of this generation will be through the "spoiling" and "entitlement" we've given them. Wow. Anyone?

AHEM.

Self-acceptance. So...I let my kids make their own toast...sometimes I even make them make their own lunches. I DON'T clean their rooms...so they have to live in the filth or clean it themselves. And, believe it or not, I do help them with their homework when they ask. If they choose to do it. And if they don't, they face the consequences (my first grader doesn't like to do homework...so he loses privileges when I get a call from his teacher.) There are boundaries and I make them accountable. But it has been a hard road. I feel guilty, more often than not, for not riding my son about doing his homework. For not cooking fully organic meatless meals (try that when your married to a meat cutter.) For watching them "wade" through their stye of a room. But, I'm slowly becoming more accepting of my lacking skills. I'll have you know that I choose to be lacking...remember the "people are crazy" truth?? Well...call me crazy. I'll be happier, when all is said and done.

Accepting, honoring and LOVING myself as crazy.

That's right.

C-R-A-Z-Y

ENJOY!

Much Love and Many Blessings...Kim

"A smile a day..."

2009-04-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

There is always a reason to smile. I was reminded of that today by a respected friend and fellow yoga teacher. She said smiling helps. And, yeah...it does. Our days are never 'perfect'...and, many days we'd rather not smile. But, as I push the big 4-0 (36 days and counting) I am ever-searching for a miracle to slow the aging process. Remember in 8th grade Health class when the teacher said "it takes fewer facial muscles to smile than to frown..."?...hmmm...I don't know if the logic there would uphold the idea of reducing sagging and wrinkling...but it's a nice idea. Smiling helps the heart. It helps with fostering joy...our true nature. And, probably the biggie, even if you feel grumpy, painful and angry, smiling will take the edge off. An old boyfriend of mine (who shall remain nameless) was an elite runner and he once told me, "Kim, when you run you look pissed-off and scary...At least grimace, then the world-at-large will THINK you're enjoying yourself..." and, despite the years that have gone by, I've remembered that quote and shared it MANY times with clients and students. In other words, SMILE!...whether you feel like it or not...your soul will reap the benefits, eventually.

I promise ???

Love and Blessings (...and gratitude to the nameless contributors who unwittingly contributed to this blog) Kim

2009-04-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

Close on the heels of yesterdays 'rant' comes this encapsulated description of what is good 'behavior' as teachers.

With great respect, honor and love I ask you all to please ponder the following as it can certainly be applied to 'everyday' life...with sincere, heartfelt devotion, I honor John Friend as the following words are his:

"Ethical Guidelines

As yoga teachers, we are a leading example to our students. We have a responsibility to them, to our teachers, and to ourselves to behave in a moral and ethical manner and to maintain a high degree of personal integrity.

The following ethical principles are general guidelines of behavior instead of rigid rules. These guidelines must be applied on a relative basis to each unique circumstance and context in which the yogi is involved. Overall, the Anusara yogi seeks to glorify Shri—that which is life-enhancing, beautiful, and auspicious.

Classical Ethical Guidelines

Yamas: (Behavior restraints) Ethical guidelines for the yogi pertaining to her relationship with others in society, the outer environment, or Nature. All the yamas apply to actions, words, and thoughts.

Ahimsa (Non-harming): Loving kindness to others, not blocking or obstructing the flow of Nature, compassion, mercy, gentleness. Non-violence.

Satya (Truthfulness): Being genuine and authentic to our inner nature, having integrity, honesty, being honorable, not lying, not concealing the truth, not downplaying or exaggerating. Truthfulness.

Asteya (Non-stealing): Not taking what is not yours—money, goods, or credit. Not robbing people of their own experiences and freedom. Non-desire for another’s possessions, qualities, or status. Non-stealing.

Brahmacharya (Walking or having ethical conduct like God): Relating to another with unconditional love and integrity, without selfishness or manipulation. Practicing sexual moderation, restraining from sexual misconduct, and avoiding lustful behavior. Celibacy/chastity.

Aparigraha (Non-clinging): Non-grasping, non-receiving, non-possessiveness, voluntary simplicity, not accumulating things beyond what is necessary, non-attachment to possessions, greedlessness. Non-covetousness.

Niyamas: (Internal-restraints): Ethical guidelines for the yogi pertaining to her daily activities. Observances of one’s own physical appearance, actions, words and thoughts.

Shauca (Purity): Cleanliness, orderliness, precision, clarity, balance. Internal and external purification. Cleanliness.

Santosa (Contentment): Equanimity, peace, tranquility, acceptance of the way things are. Contentment.

Tapas (Heat): Burning desire for reunion with God expressed through self-discipline, purification, willpower, austerity, and patience. Self-mortification.

Svadhyaya (Study of the Self): Self-inquiry, mindfulness, self-study, study of the scriptures, chanting and recitation of the scriptures. Searching for the Unknown (divinity) in the Known (physical world). Scriptural Study.

Ishvara Pranidhana (Devotional offering to the Lord): Surrender to God, open-heartedness, love, “not my will, but Thy will be done,” willingness to serve the Lord. Surrender to God.

Other Ethical Guidelines

Honor and love yourself as a divine being full of goodness and greatness.

Stay centered in your divine Self and you will connect more powerfully with the students.

Have shraddha—faith and trust in the power and order of the Supreme. Put your will in alignment with the will of the Supreme and open to the power of Grace.

Conduct and express yourself in a genuine manner that reflects your love, respect, and wonder for the art. This expression comes naturally out of your practice. Show your enthusiastic love for sharing yoga with the students in every gesture, facial expression, and voice inflection. This also makes it easy and enjoyable to listen to you.

Show humility. Show and admit your limitations—don’t put yourself down, but objectively show your physical limitations and the limits to your knowledge of yoga. When you don’t know the answer to a question, say, “I don’t know.” Be willing to do research and to bring an answer back to the student as soon as possible. Your honesty and diligence will earn respect from the students.

Tell and show the students that you are also a student. Remind them you were also, once, a raw beginner. By keeping in mind your days as a raw beginner, you will stay humble. Also, reminding yourself of your past will foster compassion for your beginning students.

Be welcoming to all students regardless of gender, race, religion, creed, nationality, cultural background, or sexual preference.

Give feedback by first looking for what is right—the beauty, the light, and the positive in people and things—instead of the ugliness, the darkness, or what is wrong. In this way you will always give the student the benefit of the doubt.

Use right speech. Speaking is one of our primary forms of communication. Awareness not only of what we say, but also of how and when we speak will help to maintain right speech. Before speaking, examine what you are about to say using The Four Gates of Speech:

• Is it truthful?

• Is it necessary to say?

• Is it the appropriate time?

• Can it be said in a kind way?

Be modest when showing or describing your talents and experiences. The more you try to impress the students, the more you are likely to create discord and lack of rapport with the students.

Truthfully and accurately represent your teaching experience and training in all self-promotions.

Be loving, kind, friendly, and respectful to the students. Be willing to serve and help them as best as you can. Honor them as divine beings full of goodness and greatness.

Be courteous and polite. Say, “Please,” sometimes.

Respect them as intelligent, educated, and mature people. Be
personable. Address them by their names, which is more respectful than saying, “Hey! You in the purple shorts, separate your feet wider apart.”

Never demean or abuse a student physically or verbally. Never hit, slap, kick, or yell at a student.

Never condescend, degrade, or talk down to the students as if they were children or stupid. Never scold a student with, “Did I say to do that?!”

Never judge the character of a student by making a broad statement such as, “You are a ______ type of person.” You can state particular observations about their behavior in the moment, such as, “Today, you are not as focused as usual.”

Be compassionate and willing to serve the students selflessly and unconditionally. For every step that the student takes toward the teacher, the teacher should take two steps toward the student.

Be generous with your time and energy toward the students. For example, make yourself available to answer questions or to listen to students’ comments before or after class. Also, be willing to offer a few minutes free of charge outside of class to a particular student working on a pose or an issue she is having trouble with.

Motivate and inspire students to optimum alignment, action, and attitude. Be positive and give constructive reinforcement. When the students do something that is commendable, tell them, “Yes!,” “Good,” or “Well done.” Smile, nod with approval or gesture with your hands, like with a thumbs up signal to positively support good performance.

Encourage and honor independent thinking and the spirit of exploration in the student. If a student respectfully disagrees with you on a particular teaching point because her experience is different than yours, she should be honored for not conforming mindlessly to your view.

Be patient with yourself and the students. Acknowledge that yoga is a process.

Be confident and strong in your actions and words to express your authority appropriately. You are in the seat of the teacher, so you are in charge of the class. Stand tall with full power.

In general, stand and walk around while teaching so that you exude more enthusiasm, dynamism, and awareness. Sitting or standing fixed in one place generally reduces the energy of the class, and the energy of the teacher can seem less powerful to the students.

For the most part, keep your arms by your sides and your heart lifted. Not only does this posture exhibit confidence and a positive attitude, but it also leaves your hands free to adjust students’ postures. Do not cross your arms across your chest or make nervous or extraneous hand gestures. Such postures and gestures might cause the students to misinterpret your attitude as one of disinterest or lack of confidence.

The Seat of the Teacher

As yoga teachers, we are an example and a model for many people. Our behavior reflects upon the great tradition and lineage of yoga which we represent. Consequently, we must exhibit a very high degree of personal integrity in all matters, both inside and outside the classroom. A high standard of professional competence and integrity can be maintained through regular practice and study, and a virtuous and healthy lifestyle. A high degree of personal integrity is prerequisite in order to be well respected as a professional yoga teacher.

Many students look to the yoga teacher as a guide and mentor, not only for physical development, but for emotional and spiritual development as well. Students tend to project high ideals onto the teacher, so they often think the teacher is more spiritually advanced than they are. Consequently, the student will tend to trust and open up to the teacher in a more psychically vulnerable and more emotionally receptive way than in most relationships. This creates an inherent power differential between the teacher and the student. Because of this power differential, we must be vigilant to uphold the integrity of the seat of the teacher. We must never exploit the vulnerability of the student for our own personal gain or gratification. Clear boundaries must be established and maintained in our role of serving our students.

We must take the responsibility of creating and sustaining both a sacred and safe environment for all students. The student needs to be able to take refuge safely in the seat of the teacher—the honorable role or the position the teacher represents. Trust in the seat of the teacher needs to be present for any deep transformations to occur in the student. As a yoga teacher, follow these guidelines:

Honor and embrace the seat of the teacher.

Verbally honor and pay tribute to your teachers and the sources of your knowledge and skill during each class.

Be happy and content in the seat of the teacher. You have been given the seat of the teacher because of your goodness and greatness. By remembering this, you can stay centered in the midst of criticism or disapproval. You will not always please everyone with your classes. Some disapproval is normal. Do not be disturbed by the students who are dull or unresponsive.

Avoid sexual relationships with students. When a sexual attraction occurs between you and a student, wait some weeks before acting on the attraction. If the student-teacher relationship is about to be compromised by any intimate relationship, it is advisable for the teacher to assist the student in finding another qualified yoga teacher.

Never sexually harass a student.

Follow all civil laws and other legal codes of behavior.

Stick to your convictions about being a model person and teacher. Be steadfast in your ethical behavior toward others. Be resolute and committed to all spiritual observances.

When speaking publicly about other yoga teachers or yoga systems, always say only something positive. Never publicly degrade or demean other yoga teachers or yoga systems.

Avoid making direct comparisons between Anusara yoga and other systems. In this way we can cultivate harmony and unity in the community. This further honors the great art and tradition of yoga that we represent.

When in doubt, follow the 3 S’s of Anusara yoga—Shri, Satya, and Svantantrya. Do that which is life-affirming, truthful, and freedom-enhancing." [J.F.]

I've been overwhelmed with concern for those of us who are "teachers" of yoga. We are the beacon that leads the way on the path...we must follow these words and live by example. I know we're not perfect, 'cause we're human, but consider Shri (or at least, the 4 gates of speech) before acting, speaking or even thinking...and with that attention, perhaps we can better lead a 'congregation' yearning for a (I didn't say 'the') way.

Much Love and Many Blessings, Kim

Consternation

2009-04-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

As I deepen into the path of yoga, I am patiently waiting for the "nice" people to surface...but, unexpectedly, it's quite the opposite that manifest. I have found, through the years (not that many, but a few admittedly) that there is more arrogance and self-righteousness amongst "yogis" than even the general population. This is a problem. I LOVE yoga...I love the philosophy and the devotion, the humility, the dedication, the concept that we are all, at one stage of life or the other, on the same path of destruction. I find this egoism the most prevalent among those people who call themselves 'teachers' of yoga. I've heard it said that it's because we are all damaged that we pursue this path of yoga...and, yeah, I get it...I'm just as messed up as the next girl and I humbly admit that it's yoga that keeps me from blowing my brains out...but, people! Those in the know must live by example! Just because someone has a 500 hr RYT (you know who you are) does NOT, necessarily, mean you have more of what it takes as a teacher than someone with an 200 hr or even less. REMEMBER WHERE YOU COME FROM! Remember your teachers! Remember them as if they were watching all that you say and do...would they agree with you?? Would they be proud??? Would they ADMIT that they were your teacher...seriously?? Arrogance is the Devils playground...assess your values. Assess your intentions. Know the difference between "bold and assertive" and "arrogant and ego-centric"...they are NOT the same.

Many Blessings and Much Love, Kim

Website bulletin board

2009-01-17T16:07:00.000-08:00

I am opening the mainstreetyogaspokane.com website as a bulletin board to all who wish to announce yoga-type events and projects. I would love to hear any feedback to make this site more effective in the purpose I wish it to serve.

Yoga Day USA is Saturday, January 24th and there are several events happening around Spokane. I encourage you all to attend at least one : )

Currently, I am teaching at several venues...but, I am thoroughly enjoying my time without a business to tend to. Nothing in life is a coincidence (my teacher says "Wake Up! Pay attention!") so my journey with the studio and it's "fall-out" was, in fact, growth. Now I know I am NOT a very good business manager and much prefer someone else to handle the logistics : )...keep me in the "ring" (so to speak) as a student and teacher and that is enough. Enough enough enough!

Changes

2009-01-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends and Fellow Seekers,

These recent changes have come at the time they MOST needed to! I thank all sincerely who supported and upheld what was MSY during it's brief (but firey) tenure.

All the teachers have moved on to newer and life-affirming ventures. Scott has returned to Palm Springs. I have found enough to inundate my already full schedule. I continue to teach yoga, Pilates and various other group-exercise classes at the Valley YMCA as well as keep the "open spaces" in my schedule filled with personal-training.

Enjoy the New Year!

Love to you all. KIm

The Golden Rule

2008-12-18T05:37:00.000-08:00

December 18, 2008
Do Unto Others
The Golden Rule

All over the world, there exists a simple precept that, when followed, has the power to end conflict and banish strife. It is the Golden Rule, a key concept in many philosophies and spiritualities that admonishes us to 揹o unto others as we would have them do unto us.?Its meaning is clear: treat others only in ways that you would want to be treated. However, the golden rule is not always easy to follow. It can be a challenge to honor others as we wish to be honored. Yet, when we do so, we bestow a gift of loving kindness on our fellow human beings. And, in honoring others, we honor ourselves.

It is as uncomplicated a tenet as one could wish for. When we live by it, harming another person becomes nearly impossible. The Golden Rule is rooted in pure empathy and does not compel us to perform any specific act. Rather, it gently guides us to never let our actions toward others be out of harmony with our own desires. The Golden Rule asks us to be aware of the effect our words and actions may have on another person and to imagine ourselves in their place. It calls on us to ask ourselves how we would feel if what we were about to do were directed toward us. And yet this rule invites us to do more than not harm others. It suggests that we look for opportunities to behave toward others in the same ways that we would want others to act toward us. Showing compassion, being considerate of others, caring for the less fortunate, and giving generously are what can result when you follow the Golden Rule.

Adhering to the Golden Rule whenever possible can have a positive effect on the world around you because kindness begets kindness. In doing so, you generate a flow of positive energy that enfolds everyone you encounter in peace, goodwill, and harmony.

Overcoming Fear

2008-12-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

Are our lives a continuous release of individual fears????

Ujjayi Breathe

2008-12-02T14:48:00.001-08:00

Ujjayi breathing is a breath technique employed in a variety of Hindu and Taoist Yoga practices. In relation to Hindu Yoga, it is sometimes called "the ocean breath". Unlike some other forms of pranayama, the ujjayi breath is typically done in association with asana practice.

Ujjayi is a diaphragmatic breath, which first fills the lower belly (activating the first and second chakras), rises to the lower rib cage (the third and fourth chakras), and finally moves into the upper chest and throat. The technique is very similar to the three-part Tu-Na breathing found in Taoist Qi Gong practice.

Inhalation and exhalation are both done through the nose. For beginners to yoga, the "ocean sound" is created by moving the glottis as air passes in and out. As the throat passage is narrowed so, too, is the airway, the passage of air through which creates a "rushing" sound. The length and speed of the breath is controlled by the diaphragm, the strengthening of which is, in part, the purpose of ujjayi.

For beginners to yoga, it is often suggested that proper execution of the ujjayi breath be audible. Ujjayi breathing by an experienced practitioner, however, is soundless – the only sensory feedback that the skilled practitioner has is the faint sensation of rubbing or vibration in the throat; the breath is so effortless that it would not move a feather held in front of the face. The inhalations and exhalations are equal in duration, and are controlled in a manner that causes no distress to the practitioner.

Ujjayi is a balancing and calming breath, which increases oxygenation and builds internal body heat^{[citation needed]}. [This description of ujjayi is that inspired by Sri T. Krishnamacharya, who taught the creators of Ashtanga Yoga, Iyengar Yoga, and many others.]

Daily Om

2008-12-01T22:09:00.000-08:00

December 1, 2008
Growing Pains
Initiations For Growth

Life is about growth, which is wonderful, though not always easy. Indeed, many of life’s lessons can be painful or difficult. Yet, such challenges are often the ones that present the most opportunity for spiritual growth. Initiations for growth come in many forms. In fact, we can view every challenge in life as an opportunity to learn and grow. While these disruptions in life are not easy, they are necessary.

The challenges the universe sends us can seem unbearable at times: a job we don’t want to spend another day at, a broken heart that feels as if it will never heal, or a long and painful illness. And then, there are the challenges that can be just as scary because we are being called to step up to the plate in ways that we may think we are not yet ready for: overcoming our fears in order to realize a lifelong dream, leaving behind a situation or people in our life that we may have outgrown, or moving across the world for our dream job or life partner.

At such times, it can feel as if the world is testing us and that life is asking more of us than we think we can give. We may feel uncomfortable, frightened, and unsure of what to do. However, life isn’t so much going against us as it is encouraging us to grow. During these periods, we can grow stronger by putting one foot in front of the other, as we work through our challenges. We may be asked to let go of old safety measures, shift old patterns of behavior, or step into the abyss of the unknown. When we do rise to the occasion, we end up better off for having made that journey. Not only do we end up learning and growing, but we inevitably become more compassionate to the challenges of others and wiser in the ways of the world. Our faith in the universe also grows because, ultimately, we can’t help but realize how much we are supported and taken care of at all times. When we are in the midst of a growing period, it is not easy to see our reward, but it is there, waiting fo! r us to grow big enough to reach it.

I am humbled with Gratitude

2008-11-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

I was in an accident with my car....My initial reaction was Fear..but was able to move through it fairly quickly, for me this is progress. It was a lesson in Aparigraha, Non- Attachment. I have been Blessed by so many kind people......I am humbled with Gratitude.........Thank you for all my Blessings..Including all of you...Happy Thanks Giving.............

Humble pie

2008-11-18T13:27:00.000-08:00

Humility is not nature. I believe it is nestled within the ego and nurtured and it seems to take a great slap upside the head for some of us to recognize this virtue. Some of us may never know it. Experience has led me down the varied paths of corporal discipline. Many times. Over and over and over and over again. It always works the best when it comes from someone I really look up to and respect. Or maybe they just have bigger "humility building" muscles...big "anti-ego guns." It's my ego that leads me to think I don't have an ego : )...or at least much of one. But, in "humble" defense of my ego...it's my ego that keeps me getting up in the morning. The thought that someone needs me to help them get through their day (usually it's my kids...possibly my husband)...and it is probably pretty accurate, most of the time. Ego feeds any amount of inspiration or ambition that leads to creativity and growth. Ego provides the confidence to face people every day. As a "seeker", my ego leads me to my teacher and my books to feed my arsenal of knowledge so that I can, someday, present what I've learned as I've applied it in my life. Sometimes, we step outside of bounds (let me just say, here, that what I have learned and experienced in my life is that that "edge" gets narrower and narrower and narrower as I grow up...which means that it becomes much easier to step outside the boundary) and someone with "big guns" comes and slaps us upside our big ol' head. "HEY KIM! Pull your head out of your butt! Little too much ego, here...back off, Girl." Followed by loud sirens and red lights...and every so often, a firing squad. And I cower off into the corner with my tail between my legs and my face hidden in my arm...for awhile. Licking my wounds...a shattered ego. A large dose of humility fed, sometimes, in the guise of cruelty and public death. Because that's what it takes. Our egos get too big...or, ignorance numbs our awareness. Something.

Don't be afraid to face humility. The "guy's with the big-guns" are there for our own good. Or maybe for the Greater Good. And, just a little bit of cushioning to the blow: Remember what your intention was. If it came from a good place, learn from the consequences and let it go. Don't take it personally. It's not always about you, anyway : )

Authentic

2008-11-16T10:56:00.000-08:00

Good music. People with LOTs of character. One follows the other. A big fan of Susan Tedeschi, I was tuning in to her yesterday...listening to some of her groovy lyrics. In "Gonna Move", she talks about moving to the big city to go to college...how they wanted her to be someone she wasn't. They'd teach her how to think. "...all those books were making her lose [her] smile." You can't be a singer! Be real! Yeah..."they" told Stevie Ray Vaughn the same thing...couldn't really sing, but the man could WAIL on the guitar...composition, lyrics...legendary talent. And authentic. In the movies, "They" wanted Paul Newman to play the handsome hero, the love interest...he said, "yeah...no. Not me. I wanna be the hard case." Authentic, he was. The people who never sell out. Embracing who they are and who they want to be. It's made me consider some of the paths I've taken. Lot's of paths led to nowhere : )...at least seemingly. A college degree that I don't use...much...other than to say I have one. The paths that taught me the most are the ones that some might think I should regret. My acting in "bad" form...a little gullible in some instances...but most of the time out of curiosity...and selfishness. All of these paths have led me to this place and that is why I don't regret. Ever. That is not the same as feeling remorse to those people I have hurt...(and there are plenty.) Yoga has helped me to understand that it doesn't serve to dwell and wallow in past actions just to regret...but that is not the same as being aware enough to learn from the past, "examining our wake," so to speak. And, maybe, learning enough not to repeat the same patterns. But, maybe I will. I sure have. Such is the ride of this life, and I hope to enjoy as much of it as I can without doing (too much) harm. Yoga is teaching me how to be exactly who I am (as I am today) authentically. I may be a little bi-polar tomorrow, today I am steady and straight (maybe.) How would life be without the rises and dips in the road?

Probably not very interesting. Or fun. Or authentic.

ENJOY! ("joy"is the root of that word..carry it into your life.)

Householders

2008-11-14T20:07:00.000-08:00

I found yoga late in life. I was already a householder...responsible. Of the world. One of my greatest inspirations is the life of Mahatma (Great One) Gandhi. He married at 15. Had a small passel of children...even admitted to being "lustful" for his (even younger) bride. He blamed himself for her never learning to read...he said he'd start to teach her with the greatest of intentions and then end up so overcome with lust that the lesson could not continue. : ) Ahhhh...human. He came from an affluent family. Went to university and became a lawyer...albeit, a bad one. And it wasn't until quite a bit later in his life (30's), after children, that he found the path of the renunciate and declared that he would continue to provide and serve his family but as far as physical relations and material wealth, he was devoting his life to "Satyagraha"...truth force...and to God. Without question, one of the most amazing human beings ever to grace this planet. But, I wonder what his wife and children must have thought? At least in the beginning...hmmmmm...

In our culture, it isn't feasible to live the life of an ascetic with a family. Or maybe it is. I don't know. I certainly don't live it. Unless you count the time dedicated to everyone in my family except myself. But, I don't. Ascetism is for a different time. Maybe after grandkids. Or great grandkids. For now, I live in the stage of Householder and I honor it. It's hard sometimes. But, most of the time seeing my babies sweet faces...oh, well...those are boons I'm not about to give back. I believe, as it should be!

Foundation

2008-11-13T19:42:00.000-08:00

Foundation. Our base. In life, it's what is firm, stable, and familiar. It's probably what is taken the most for granted. As children, it's our mom and dad...or our Mom or our Dad, sometimes it's a grandparent or an aunt or uncle...even an older sibling. When something happens that changes our "foundation"...our stability...our body stores that memory. Our body stores many of our life's happenings...manifesting, sometimes, in ways that need therapy, other times in ways that just create nuisances. But all of these memories have made us who we are...I understand, finally, that that is okay. Fallibilities. Weaknesses. Strengths. Talents. All traits demonstrate who we are and who we are becoming. Wow! No need to judge. As we are today. Tomorrow. Saturday. Next year. Worthy is what we are. Of love. Divine.

On the mat, our foundation will make or break (so to speak) the final manifestation of the pose. My teacher once likened the foundation to electricity with a ground...the power is channeled and "controlled"...safe. But, a pose without a proper foundation is like electricity without a ground...lightening...uncontrollable, wild, sloppy...even a little bit scary. Set your foundation. Well. I mean good. Be firm. Mean it! "Don't be floppy!" And your pose will be a celebration of the Divinity within.

Stigma

2008-11-12T18:40:00.000-08:00

Good day, Scorpios! Today is my husband's birthday...what a year it has been! I congratulate him for the challenges he's faced and the good form with which he's confronted them. Life is not easy...as all of us can attest. I remember the days when I complained (!!) about school...exams, peer-pressure, being cool...and I wish I could convey to my own kids how important it is to enjoy these times...or at least TRY to (and my kids aren't even through elementary school yet!) I had my 20 year high school reunion last year and I loved every minute of it. I did not, however, love every minute of high school...in fact, I pretty much hated it. Got through it. Barely. With LOTS of attitude. But, I managed to stay out of Juvie and rehab. I wore a lot of black. Got REAL skinny. And I had an "A" with a circle around it written everywhere (pee chee's, lockers, Ked's.) Went through a phase of "Life Sucks!" (what? how hormonal was I?) Spent ALL of my "spare" time in the Drama room (maybe not so surprising to those who know me) Listened to Suicidal Tendencies, Dead Kennedy's, The Smiths, The Cult, and The Cure...lot's of "The's." Had WAY too many issues with boys. WAY!!!! DUDE!!!! WHOA! Scary WAY! But, you know...the reunion was great. Even more surprising was how UNsurprised my old classmates were of my being a yoga teacher!!! So, I had to put all of this into perspective...in high school I was: a rebel. Check (sort of.) A Drama queen. Check (still am.) Depressed? Not really...just confused, like I think all teenagers are. Right? Oh, and hormonal. Horny? What! At 16? No dang way! Boys, I tell ya...whew! But, I want to know why it wasn't surprising to these people that I now taught yoga...a tantric yoga, none the less. "Align with the Divine." The mantra I wear on my chest (via a tee shirt, of course.) So, there must be a stigma attached to yoga teachers. I have no piercings. I have no tattoos. Where do I fit in? Hmmmmmmm....I'm a gemini. And pitta. And "type A". And, according to Meyer's/Briggs an "ENFP" (extrovert being the 'E'). Bossy. Overbearing. Anxious. Ambitious. Let's just face it, I'm a woman of the 21st century.

I love yoga. I love people. A lot. As someone who is "seeking" the yogic path, I don't dwell too much in my past...but I sure have a grand time reminiscing! I have stories...Holy Cow! As we all do. These are the stories that made us who we are today. Share them. They ROCK!

Yoga as a spiritual path

2008-11-11T13:19:00.000-08:00

The Universe has a way of bombarding us with issues over and over again until we become astute enough to take notice. Over the last few weeks I've been inundated with the idea of conflicting beliefs...within and without and enmeshed within yoga philosophy and tradition. As a seeker deepens his/her practice, more questions arise. I've found that I need to express my questions in the form of class themes and focus. Whether this is in good or bad form, I don't really know...but I do know that it's been creating a little bit of chaos and tension within my teaching venues. Some may know that I teach outside of the studio...in "gyms." I began my yoga practice and started my yoga teaching in the gym environment (as I'm sure most of us teachers have...at least in Spokane)...what is the most challenging for me, as I've deepened my study and practice of yoga, is "taming" my teaching for these type of arenas. As I carry a theme from a studio class into a "gym" class I've been confronted by people who are "offended" by stanzas taken from ancient sacred texts (such as the Sutras, Upanishads, and the Bhagavad Gita) believing that they are in conflict with their Christianity. It simply isn't so. As demonstrated by the late Paramahansa Yogananda in his, "Autobiography of a Yogi"...the concepts within the Vedic texts hold a seed within the sacred texts of all the world's religions. Yogananda quoted biblical scriptures frequently within his book...and, in fact, was a scholar of the Western bible. Yoga is a spiritual path...not a religion. It excludes no one and includes everyone. Love is the basis. Reunion/communion with the "Divine" (fill in the name of your Higher Power here) is the intention. I am a new seeker. I am a student. I learn as much during my seat as the teacher from the class as I do when I participate as a student. I am continually humbled by the understanding that I am unable to "know" anything until I've actually experienced it. I don't teach yoga...I teach the search for yoga as I am, myself, seeking it.

Chanting..Fro Daily Om

2008-11-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

November 11, 2008Divine ResonanceChanting
In many cultures and civilizations, chanting, a form of vocal meditation, has endured through the ages. Practiced by many people around the world seeking greater health, a sense of well-being, enlightenment, and a connection to the divine, chanting unites the mind, body, emotions, and breath through vocal sounding. This unification can open and nurture your creativity, lower stress levels, and teach you to become fully alert and in the moment. Some people are naturally drawn to chant while others feel awkward using their voices in such a way. Singing along with recorded chants before chanting on your own can help dispel any nervousness. However, the chanting that will resonate most deeply and beneficially for you is the chanting you do for yourself. There are many different chants. They can be composed of names, words, sounds, syllables, or even sections of text. What you chant is less important than your willingness to focus fully on the act of chanting itself. To begin, sit comfortably with a straight back and take a series of long, deep breaths to open and flex your lungs. Then, take another breath, and with resonant tones direct your breath outward in the form of sound. Simple syllables like ‘oh,’ ‘ee,’ or ‘mm’ are easy to remember. Chanting lets you raise the level of your own vibration to a higher spiritual state. You can chant as an invocation or to set intention. Reciting even the simplest chant can bolster a flagging spirit, hone the mind, and produce natural painkillers within the brain. While chanting, you may feel energy surging through your physical body or joy entering your heart. Chanting can liberate and ground you simultaneously because it allows your soul to soar freely while compelling you to focus on the here and now.

Monday, November 10

2008-11-10T15:12:00.000-08:00

"What's old is new again"...taking a second look. Today we examined "common" poses with the Principles of Alignment. The re-introduction to familiar asanas by awakening taken-for-granted muscle energy. Okay...so, I guess if I was doing them "right" I would never take any muscle action for granted. I humbly accept that as being always in the seat of the student (even while, sometimes, in the seat of the teacher...)

We played in handstand (without the wall) and what a unique perspective for most of us (teachers, too) when...after the excitement of being upside down on our hands subsides...if there's still enough time...to think about engaging all 5 principles of Alignment. Oh, that's right...without the wall. Hmmmmm....so, that may cause us to re-think the efficacy of walls...you know? Do we take them for granted? I mean, sure, they hold up the ceiling, they give us nice space to display our artwork and family photos...but are we giving walls the credit they really deserve? Consider the ease with which you may float up into handstand (or headstand) with the wall comfortingly behind you...but take that away, and OOOOOH! BABY! It's a whole new game...a whole new look...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

2008-11-09T16:06:00.000-08:00

I am so pleased to invite everyone to our "New to You" clothing exchange and karma yoga next Sunday, November 16th 7:00 - 8:30 pm. The idea is that everyone brings clothes that they no longer wear (or have outgrown...in size or fashion: ) and we trade with others. So, it becomes a swap-meet of sorts. A teacher-friend of mine actually gave me the idea (thanks Brandi!) and I thought it would be a terrific idea to get people together and experience the idea of gratitude. In these economic times, I feel the concept of "recycling" is more important than ever. I hope everyone can really participate and enjoy the "treasures" of others. We are requesting $10 donation that will benefit the MSY Karma Holiday project: Providing the Kneer family with gifts and food to celebrate the season. This is the second year we've participated in the ECEAP "adopt a family" and last year was such a joy I am happy to do it again.

I hope you all enjoy your Sunday. Blessings and Love to you all!

Kim