"It's a BEAUTIFUL day!"

Astonished. I am incredibly happy. Joyful, even. Intense, yeah. Severe, maybe. Offensive, whatever...probably. But/and/also...blissed out. "It's a BEAUTIFUL day!" My new mantra. Strangely, repeating it in my head, out loud, or on Facebook makes it completely true. The inspiration for this is a wonderful man that has been personal-training my husband. His name is Ben. He says "It's a BEAUTIFUL day"...every day. Every session. He makes everyone smile...and BELIEVE that it truly is a beautiful day. What is so amazing to me is the existence of people like Ben and his wife, who are so authentically pure, joyful, GOOD spirits. It makes me laugh when I think how hard I work at being what they are so innately. It's FUNNY. Really. But, I find humor in everything. I laugh. A lot. Mostly at myself, 'cause I think I'm pretty funny (...but, I also think I'm a rockstar...) I realize that the joy I find in everyday things makes me super woman. No kidding. If I'm rockin' the smile, feelin' the beauty in the day...I am UNSTOPPABLE. It takes years off of my true age. I can run with the big dogs (well...I can TRY to keep up with Heather, but I think she, too, has found the beauty in the day and the joy in little things...) My life hasn't been easy. I haven't made the best choices. But, astonishingly, all of that doesn't matter...except that it's led me to the joy I find in the easy-ness of my life. The sparkle of my husbands eyes (they DO sparkle...) and the supreme wisdom of my youngest child (she is an old-soul for sure...) And the sweetness in the spirits that surround me EVERY day. Yeah. This life is a good one. A BEAUTIFUL one. Rock on.

Me breathing...

Just relax. Prana will flow. This week has been an amazing adventure into the realm of breathing. My most outstanding revelation has been this: When I pay attention and observe my breath, all negativity leaves my mind and body. My back body softens. Everything slows down. Dancing with the Goddess. Not my nurtured tendency to Jitterbug...but, my NATURAL tendency to Waltz. Goddess. All is the Goddess. Yes...

I've seen a lot of death. I've witnessed innumerable 'last breaths'. One thing is common...the slowing, the shallow reduction of inspiration. To share the last breath of someone is sacred. Like a birth...quite. I haven't been hardened by deaths...at all. A last breath is a testimony to the life a person has lived. Holy. Unrepentant. You bet. At that moment, the spirit knows what a carnival mortality is. Whether they've ridden their years on the Ferris Wheel or the Zipper...or a bit of both...the stamp on their hand STILL gets them in...wherever "in" is.

conundrum of polarity

Two sides. That's me. Gemini. ALL THE WAY. I forgot about that a bit, during this journey in yoga. Yesterday in my advanced immersion kula, I was abruptly reminded of my own duality. Not in a terrible way...somewhat disturbing, yes...but ultimately bearable. Everyday life is systematic...I might even say routine (gasp!), but when I am holding space within my study circle I discover the polarity of my experiences. In yoga. As a teacher, I am confident in front of a class. Solid within the teachings I've assimilated. Steadfast in my determination to pass them on. Being in the Seat is a fabulous challenge for me...the preparation involved in developing my theme and sequence is completely engrossing. I chant. I journal. I chant. I study. I write. I chant. It is not without significant dedication that my class is "born". But, as I sit in Kula. Among my "peers"...many of whom are significantly more practiced and studied and wise...the soap that is doubt bubbles to the top, nearly washing away all of my confidence as a 'teacher'. It is with deep appreciation and reverence for the teachings that I sit amongst the circle, and my love and devotion only grows stronger...with every second. As for my ego, well, it disintegrates ever more minute by minute. Yoga is a work in progress...as are we. Finding joy...amidst the suffering of life. The inescapable pain is, ultimately, what leads us (like a horse to water) to the bliss. So, yeah. My study. My "self" observation hurts. A lot. But, in a way it's like the scab that you can't resist picking. Or itchy eyes that you can't escape rubbing. The pain is kinda good. I can't help it. I keep coming back for more. But, unlike scab-picking and eye-rubbing, I KNOW that it's good for me...in the long run. Immediately, it feels like torture. My mind is a garbage-heap of questioning doubt: "Who the HELL am I kidding? I don't know SHIT! How can I call myself a yoga teacher!??" But then. I leave kula. My life returns to it's cycle. I sit. I journal. I chant. I study. I chant. I pause. I breathe. I know. I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing. To the capacity that I can be doing it. There is a minor amount of ego...but not so much that I'm unaware of my frailties. Not so much that I will not admit my fallibilities. And NEVER so much ego that I can not feel compassion, love, and empowerment for the lovely beings who sit with me and share the space we call "kula". To them, I am most grateful.

Making Meaning

Ishvarapranidhana. Faith that gives my life substance. Belief that there is a grand Cause of all that is this Universe. Making meaning happen in the mundane occurrences of daily living. Donna Farhi says if we insist upon believing we are the controlling factor...life itself can be meaningless and empty. Especially when “things” fail to go the way we want them to. It’s the spiritual element to life...the prime facet that makes us much more than instinct-driven mammals. That which gives meaning to our movements, actions, relationships. When life’s experiences, accomplishments and trials are given the understanding of being somewhat influenced by a greater Force, we can accept fully our journey as having purpose...whether or not we understand the “why” is what gives our life mystery. It is not fatalism. We still have a choice, and each choice will lead us on a different path with a different outcome. Without faith in some Supreme force, how do we continue to serve the Greater Good?

Spiritual practice is the cornerstone of yoga. Simple focused attention will give the most basic activities meaning. Thoughtfully washing the dishes one piece at a time with a feeling of appreciation for the utility of their service. Pausing over a meal to invoke or intend gratitude for the abundance upon the plate...attending to the details involved in bringing this nourishment to your home and to the kitchen table. Listening to a stranger with compassion and interest while in line at the grocery store, bank, news stand, etc. In my life, it’s attending to ONE activity at a time. Not two, three or ten. Bringing my full awareness to the subject or activity. That means keeping my mind in the same place as my body. Having reverence for, literally, everything in life. It takes constant reminding. Slow down. Pay attention...BE attention. Be attenTIVE. Be. When I practice yoga, every pose and every transition is imbued with devotion, love, awe, and yeah, rapture. Asanas are a prayer, a sacred offering to the Supreme. I open to what the Highest has for me. I feel Mother earth dotingly beneath me. I hug in with strength of my intention and the ever-growing power of devotion. I create space in my contractions and soften my hard places. I firm the boundaries that will channel the ferocity of my spirit. Emanating out through my very skin, I demonstrate the love that so fills me. I shine out with immense, blinding light that is undimmed by this mortal journey. I thank God. My practice softens me. Blatantly. Obviously. While I move on the mat, my mind, affect and aura brighten. I melt into the sanctuary of Divine nurture and Supreme love for what this body holds. Consciousness. Sharing for what is True. Unconditional, always present, completely embracing, rapturous LOVE. Divine, uninterrupted ecstatic bliss.

AMEN!

Kitcheri Recipe

Kitcheri

1 cup brown (or white) basmati rice (white rice makes for a 'mushier' consistencey)
1/2 cup mung beans
1 Tsp Curry (or to taste)
1 Tsp Cumin (or to taste)
1/2 Tsp Turmeric
Salt to taste

3 cups water (less for thicker, more for soupier...I like it thick and fluffy)

Combine all ingredients in slow cooker. Cook on low overnight or several hours. Recipe can easily be adapted to stove top cooking, cook it like you would brown rice...maybe a little longer. This is a great, wholesome, nourishing one-pot meal. It is good if you are 'cleansing' but not fasting. It is good for ALL constitutional types (Vata, Pitta, Kapha)...though ingredients can be modified allowing for balance of doshic 'derangement' .

Enjoy! All my love! Kim